September 29, 2009

Two Followers! Thanks Scott Kirkman!

Ooh, late this time. I've been busy lately so it's kind of mean that I have to wait till the dark P.M's to update. But I don't care. Actually I do care. Don't leave me.
Who's Next?

Bear Grillys 
 Why: Attacked by bear

There is not one doubt in my mind that Bear Grylls is a badass. This English survival expert beast, freakishly capable man is probably strong enough to do whatever he wanted. Like, kill an American and get away with it. Which would make his proud Englishmen prouder. So everyone knows he is a badass. But, we all know he's a dumbass.
Come on man, You almost got bit by an effing cobra, for Tony Blair's sake. You live for what, weeks? in the coldest and hottest places on our screwed up planet. You eat raw fish? You jump waterfalls? You climb trees. You're like Spiderman with no webs. 
But the dumbest thing about you, has to do with Steve Irwin.
Steve Irwin thought he was the coolest person there was
So you saw him do whatever he did to those innocent crocodiles? Ha! I still have no idea WTF he was doing. He would just jump on them and then what, tie it's mouth with his shirt? Then put it in some truck or something? Hahahaha! 
Then he died by a stingray. How can someone who's the God of crocodiles get soft around stingrays? Crikey, you should have known that jumping on any animal that had the misfortune of being in your eyesight at the time that one would eventually attack you back.
Bear is smarter, as he wont attack them all, but he's getting too comfy in these spots. Bear will get eaten by bears, like that bear man did when he was living with bears so maybe the bears wouldn't have attacked if Bear was with bear man. But he wasn't.
When: Ugh, 2 1/2 years.
It's a bit of a stretch, I'll admit. Bear may be dumber than Steve actually, because not only is he attacking animals, he's living with them. And his little wussy camera crew of like 5 other guys are not as fearless as Bear. While watching the bear maul him to shreds, (or watch the bear run like a little punk) the cameramen will just run and hide to inform the TV guys that their #1 money earner is dead. Poor, poor you.

Mark it down. Bear Grllys will die soon.

PS: Les Stroud is dumber than Grllys! But I'm not going to redo this whole thing or talk too much. He doesn't have a crew so if he's dead....pttt.

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