September 25, 2009

First Entry

Behold! The first post of the blog that will either become bigger than postsecret, or become one of those anonymous blogs that have one little itty bitty sentence. Oh well. Lets get down to why I created this.
I created this blog because I know I can call when a celeb dies. Believe it or not, I called Michael Jackson's death. I knew that because of his bleached skin that he was messed up in the head a bit, and that it would be the death of him. I said that for years! And voila! Wacko Jacko bites the dust, and people revere me as "The Great Predictor". Or not really. I told them to call me that and they never did. So here's what I'll do. Every day (or not) I'll put up a celebrity candidate for death, and why I think so. See, this blog actually has a meaning. 
But anyway. Here's my first prediction that will definitely happen in at least a year. Or month. Or week. Or day. Or hour. Or now: Amy Winehouse.

Why: Overdose

Come on. Now I know even you have decided this for yourself. This bitch can't contain her coke problems. She has to snort some during a concert? What the hell? Chances are, she's snorting more right now. I bet her house has more than all of Columbia.The only reason I chose this picture is because it's the only decent one! She actually looks half normal. I thought about using one of her hoboette looking ones with the crack sliming down her nose and the missing tooth and the yellow-ass plaque filled teeth and the grayish hair and the bacne and the wrinkles and the........but otherwise I'd have to change this blog's content to Graphic.
When: 1-2 Years
If you can't contain your crack use, if your teeth look like shit, if you smell like catfood, worms, and a retard's breath, all at the same time, if you have people wanting to assassinate you, if you wont go to rehab when you need it, you aren't living long. Amy Winehouse, you deserve your own adjective.
It's as stanky as Amy Winehouse in here!
That house is as ratty as Amy Winehouse.
Go change. You look like Amy Winehouse.
Brush your teeth. They look like Amy Winehouse.
I went into the damp, smelly, genital herpes, Amy Winehouse cave.
It's so disgusting. It's Amy Winehouse.
When these saying becomes everyday talk, I get praise.

Mark it down. Amy Winehouse will die soon.

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